Hmm..

Having a good dream doesn't mean you'll wake up with good news..

Do Not Forget

If someone did a mistake,

Don't forget the good things has he done for you.

Unimportant

Aku rasa seperti aku tidak lagi penting dalam hidup si dia. Aku bukan lagi orang yg dia cari-cari setelah dia bangun dari tidur. Tapi kenapa dia perlukan aku sebelum dia dibuai mimpi yg indah? Aku tahu aku bukan yang dia mahu kan tapi insyaAllah aku yang dia perlukan. Ya Allah. Cuma Kau yang tahu apa perasaan aku sekarang ni. Sekiranya dia bukanlah jodohku ya Allah, kau jodohkan la dia dengan orang yg tergolong dalam golongan yg soleh. Kau tunjukkan la dia jalan yg benar ya Allah. Semoga dia bahagia di samping pilihan hatinya. Amin.

...

It's hard for me to do these. I'm doing it because I love you. If not, hell no. I'm not gonna do it. My heart is shattered into pieces. How I want to act normal if everything is not normal? May Allah spare me some patience to get through this obstacle.

I am stupid.

Stupid. Yeah. Thats me. The girl that I wanna be with for my entire life have a doubt on me. It's all my fault. Don't have the courage to tell her what I want what my feelings are. I can't sleep, it's already 4am in the morning. Tomorrow probably I need to drive back to Carbondale. I wish I can sleep so I can replenish my energy that been used to load the shipping items into the contena. How can I sleep if what I really need the most right now is her. I wish I can see her and tell what I want what my feelings are.

The heart, the hurt.

Every time when I read these, I feel pain in my heart.

I sometimes say things I didn't mean.

Whatever happened happens. It doesn't mean anything.

Why you asked? Did it mean something to you?

Oh.. It hurts. The pain is unbearable. Can someone stab my heart right now? I think that's the only way to ease the pain because it won't beat anymore after been stabbed. And you don't care how hurt my heart is. Of course it mean something to me. I have a feeling towards you. I am in love with you. It mean something to me. If you don't mean it, don't say it. If it doesn't mean anything, don't do it.

Friend huh??

So, we are friend? Not more than that? Basically, we already crossed the border line as a friend. Even Allah mad at us. It's not too late to turn back. To be a better Muslim. Insyaallah. Allah gonna guide us. Don't follow what people do, don't follow what Satan want us to do, believe on Allah, because one day, Allah gonna take our life back.

You

Dear you,
Do you know somehow I'm still hoping that what you said to me was a lie? Do you know what you said hurts me a lot? If you don't mean to say anything, don't say it. Don't gimme a false hope. The pain, it's killing me. Killing me inside. Don't sympathize me. Don't do "that" and say "that" if you don't mean it. Please. I can't handle the pain. I won't care this much if I don't love you.

Brain & Heart & Me

Brain: Arghh!!! I've been infected by a deadliest virus!!
Me: Relax!! You can cure the virus, even it is a deadliest one.
Brain: NO! This virus is gonna stay in here and eat yourself. You can't cure this virus. Trust me.
Me: Am I gonna die?
Brain: Yes you are. Your brain is gonna die slowly and it's hurt.
Heart: Yeah! You're gonna die. Do you know why?
Me: I don't know. Why?
Heart: Because your heart is in pain. It been stabbed for countless of times, it been crushed, and it's still bleeding.
Me: Dear heart, may I know what happened to you?
Heart: The virus is related with this bleed.
Me: Dear brain, may I know where did you get the virus?
Brain: You should know. It's your memories.
Me: My memories?
Brain & Heart: Yes, your memories! It's killing us all.
Me: My memories...
Brain & Heart: ...
Me: That memories. Yeah, it hurts. Oh eyes, please stop leaking.
Brain & Heart: Your brain is dying. Your heart is bleeding.
Me: Can I kill myself?
Brain & Heart: Please don't! You're gonna die slowly anyway.

Part of me just died

Dear self,

Do you know that you're half dead or you can say that you're teared apart? Do you know that your brain has been infected by the deadliest virus? Do you know that your brain is gonna be killed by the virus? Do you know you can't cure the virus? Do you know that you can't handle the pain in your heart? 

Am i...

Am I your buah hati?

Beautiful

Girls with hijab and cover up their body

are beautiful

To YOU

• Jagalah aurat mu
• Jagalah ibadah mu
• Jagalah batas pergaulan mu
• Ingatlah pada Allah
• Ingatlah ibu bapa mu 
• Takutlah pada Allah
• Takutlah pada mati

 

Dato' Pahlawan

Dato',

Hanyalah sekadar pangkat,

Pangkat yang tidak seberapa,

Di beri atas usahanya yang gigih,

Ku bukanlah datang dari keluarga dato' yang kau sangkakan,

Keluarga ku,

Keluarga biasa,

Janganlah hanya sekadar pangkat,

Pangkat yang tidak seberapa itu,

Ku ditinggalkan,

Di sakitkan lagi dengan kata-kata mu yang berbunyi seperti gurauan,

Hati ku sakit,

Sakit yang tidak terhingga,

Hanya tuhan sahaja yang tahu,

Mulut ku kaku,

Tidak mampu berkata apa-apa,

Hanya pipi dibasahi air jernih.

Air jernih yang mengalir tanpa izinku,

Pabila kamu bertanya pada ku,

"Kau menangiskah?"

Tidak sama sekali ku akan mengaku,

Ku tidak mahu kau tahu betapa deritanya diri ku,

Ku tidak mahu kau tahu betapa sengsaranya diri ku,

Ku tidak mahu kau tahu betapa pedihnya hati ku ini,

Sekiranya inilah penamatnya,

Ku mahu ucapkan,

Terima kasih,

Kerana memberi peluang padaku,

Untuk mengenal diri mu,

Terima kasih buah hati ku yang disayangi.

RE: If only #1

If only you knew how sorry I am after every fight.

If only you knew how sometimes what you say hurts me.

If only you knew how I keep smiling just so you don't feel bad.

If only you knew how sometimes when you ignored me it actually killing me inside.

If only you knew how much I miss you when we don't talk for a day.
If only you knew when I scold you means I care about you.

If only you knew you are the reason for every smile, which I love...

and you are the reason for every tear, which I hate.

If only you knew when I said everything I do with you is fun..

actually it means I love the time we spend together.
If only you knew I really love you.
If only you knew how genuine my feeling toward you.

If only you knew how bad I want to get rid of the walls that are surrounding you.
So you don't have to think and just be with me.

RE: Best WEEKEND!

I was happy to see you were happy with all the surprises. All the hard works is paid. The birthday present and the "ikan bakar" were not much from me. Thanks goodness you like them. :)

p/s: Hopefully your next year birthday party is gonna be great as ever.

RE: Letter to YOU

Dear buah hati a.k.a. future wife,

          Waalaikumsalam, I'm writing this so when I come to your life you'll know that I'm the one for you and you are the one for me. You would like me to pay $30,000 for "duit hantaran", you would like to get the most expensive diamond ring, you would like to have a fancy car, and you would like to have all the stuff that a woman ever ask for when I ask you to marry me. I'm sorry, I can't give you all of those but insyaallah, I'll try me best to get those for you. I would like you to know that you're not worth the most expensive diamond ring, I'm not gonna take care of you like I'm gonna take care of my fancy car. BUT! You're worth more than anything in this world, I'm gonna take care of you like I'm taking care of my prayer to Allah because you're gonna be a woman that I promised to bring her to Jannah. I'm gonna give my all to you. Let our life be about you, me and us.

Full of LOVE,

Your buah hati